pauleine's blog

PetAdoptables

pauleine — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 19:27:56 +0000

Make Your Own Reed Oil Diffuser

pauleine — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 16:53:07 +0000

Reed oil diffusers are open bottles filled with scent oils with and diffuser sticks stemming out from the bottle. The scent oils travel up the wooden sticks and releases subtle yet noticeable aroma into the air.

Reed oil diffusers are a great alternative to room sprays. They are also easy and inexpensive to make.

What you need:

* 1 small jar or bottle (simple ones can be purchased from supermarkets or craft stores);

5-Minute Management Course

pauleine — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 11:31:02 +0000

Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor..

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

Very Very Kewl!

pauleine — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 12:15:50 +0000

What do these words have in common?

1 Banana
2 Dresser
3 Grammar
4 Potato
5 Revive
6 Uneven
7 Assess

Are you peeking or have you already given up?
Give it another try . Look at each word carefully.
(You'll kick yourself when you discover the answer.)
This Is Cool.

Before I was a Mom

pauleine — Sun, 31 May 2009 10:51:45 +0000

Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night

The Bathtub Test

pauleine — Sun, 31 May 2009 10:50:35 +0000

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director how do you
determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized..

'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub - then we offer a teaspoon, a
teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.'

'Oh, I understand,' said the visitor. 'A normal person would use the
bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.'

'No' said the Director, 'A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed
near the window?

Thieves!!

pauleine — Sun, 31 May 2009 10:49:33 +0000

WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves?

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick.

The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were thse and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs.

Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans.

And then the thieves struck again.

Man

pauleine — Sun, 31 May 2009 10:47:49 +0000

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.
He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:
'Dear Lord:
I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home.
I want her to know what I go through.
So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day.

Amen!'

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.
The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.

He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate,
Awakened the kids,

Set out their school clothes,
Fed them breakfast,

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity:

pauleine — Sun, 31 May 2009 10:45:19 +0000

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't DisguiseYour Voice. !

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana'

6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

Home again!

pauleine — Wed, 27 May 2009 11:03:30 +0000

Well been home a few days now from Egypt and starting to get back into things here, our washing machine finally arrived so spending today catching up on laundry and loving it! LOL Created a new layout for my website too as you can see...that was fun, been missing the internet and my online friends, so glad to be home... The new house is finally feeling like home and i think i'll finally feel at home now that its all done, and i don't have to be stuck here waiting on things to arrive after tommorrow...lol Well thats all for now, see you soon! hugz pauleine